It’s been over 10 years since Kanye West stole the microphone from Taylor Swift during her Best Female Video speech at the VMAs, but the pop star revealed that moment will always stick out to her. “As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show, somebody stood up and sent me the message: ‘You are not respected here. You shouldn’t be here on this stage,’” the 30-year-old told Variety in an interview published on Tuesday, January 21. “That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew.”

However, in true Taylor fashion, she forged ahead and tried to make the best out of the uncomfortable situation. “That can push you one of two ways: I could have just curled up and decided I’m never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to and try things no one expected and crave that respect — and hopefully one day get it,” she explained.

Years later, the “Shake It Off” singer made amends with the rapper, 42, but their relationship would later fall apart once again. “But then what that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life, as he did in 2015, and I felt like I finally got that respect [from Kanye], but then soon realized that for him, it was about creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl,” she said while sighing. Fans will get to see Taylor and Kanye’s feud unfold in her new Netflix documentary, Miss Americana, and she said she understood why director, Lana Wilson, had to “put it in” the film.

Taylor Swift Wearing a Sparkly Dress With Kanye West
Jason Decrow/AP/Shutterstock

These days, the Grammy winner seems to be doing well as her most recent album, Lover, took over the music charts. After its release in August, fans were quick to point out that her first song on the tracklist, “I Forgot That You Existed,” seemed like it was aimed at someone specific — a.k.a. Kanye. While Tay didn’t reveal who the song was about, she admitted she’s over the drama. “I don’t think too hard about this stuff now,” she said.

Shake it off, girl!

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