Actress Nicole Kidman got extremely candid in an essay for New York Magazine’s upcoming Women and Power issue. The 51-year-old — who is currently married to Keith Urban — opened up about her marriage to Tom Cruise and how their relationship helped keep her safe in Hollywood.

“Being married to Tom Cruise at 22 is something I’m always reluctant to talk about because I’m married now to the man who is my great love, and it almost feels disrespectful,” the Big Little Lies star wrote. “That said, I got married very young, but it definitely wasn’t power for me — it was protection.”

The Oscar winner explained, “I married for love, but being married to an extremely powerful man kept me from being sexually harassed. I would work, but I was still very much cocooned. So when I came out of [the marriage] at 32, 33, it’s almost like I had to grow up.”

She added, however, that she’s had her fair “share of #MeToo moments” but didn’t “want to expose them in an article.”

Nicole Kidman Keith Urban photo
Gary Gershoff / Getty Images

“Do they come out in my work? Absolutely,” she continued. “I’m open and raw. I want to have my well of experience and emotion tapped into — used — and I’m not just talking about sexual harassment. I’m talking about loss, death, the full array of life. But it has to be by the right people so it’s not abused again.”

The mother-of-four — who shares Connor, 23, and Isabella, 25, with her ex-husband — was married to the Risky Business actor for more than 11 years. The duo divorced in 2001, and she married Keith five years later. She and Keith are also parents to daughters Sunday, 10, and Faith, 7.

Back in 2016, the country crooner gushed about his life with the Hollywood mega-star. “Meeting her and getting married wasn’t life-changing, it was life-beginning,” Urban told CBS News. “It was literally, like, ‘OK, life starts.'”