Darrell Hammond had audiences rolling in the aisles during his 14-year run on Saturday Night Live — but behind the scenes, there was nothing funny about his devastating struggle with substance abuse. “The low point [for me] was the shame I felt over what I’d become,” Darrell tells In Touch in an exclusive interview.
In his new autobiography, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, the 56-year-old details his life’s highs and lows, like doing so many stints at hospitals or in rehab for alcohol and drugs that he’s “lost count.” Darrell is certain the self-destructive behavior stemmed from his horrific childhood in Melbourne, Fla. “When I was young, it was as if I was on a bus that someone hijacked and took on a terrifying, dangerous road.” That person, claims Darrell, was his own mother. His accounts of her cruelty, which included slamming his hand in a car door, hitting him in the stomach with a hammer and cutting his tongue with a serrated steak knife, are especially disturbing.
Darrell says growing up he felt “overwhelmed with the sense that I was surrounded by evil.” Hopefully, Darrell’s worst days are behind him. Today, he often gets comic relief performing at NYC’s Comedy Cellar, and he credits finding the right doctor — his 24th over the years — for helping him come to terms with all the trauma he’s suffered. Most importantly, “I’m not ashamed anymore,” says Darrell.