Paris Hilton revealed that she heavily drank and took the hypnotic sedative Quaaludes before making her sex tape.

According to an excerpt from her upcoming book, Paris: The Memoir, published by The Times in the U.K. on Saturday, March 4, Paris, 42, recalled making her sex tape with her then-boyfriend, Rick Salomon, when she was 19 years old.

Paris does not directly name Rick, 55, in the memoir, though noted she began dating him when she was 18 and he was 32. Additionally, she referred to her ex by the nickname “Scum.”

“I don’t remember that much about the night he wanted to make a videotape while we made love,” the New York native wrote in the excerpt, according to USA Today.

She claimed that Rick “kept pushing” for them to record themselves during sex and she eventually gave in.

“I wasn’t capable of the level of trust required to make a videotape like that,” Paris wrote about the experience. “I had to drink myself silly. Quaaludes helped. But I did it. I have to own that. I knew what he wanted, and I went with it.”

The heiress claimed that Rick threatened to break up with her if she didn’t make the tape. “He told me if I wouldn’t do it, he could easily find someone who would, and that was the worst thing I could think of – to be dumped by this grown man because I was a stupid kid who didn’t know how to play grown-up games,” she explained. “The truth is, I wanted to be alive in a sensual way. I wanted to feel like a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin.”

Paris admitted she “felt like my life was over, and in many ways it was” following the release of the sex tape in 2004. “Certainly, the career I had envisioned was no longer possible,” she wrote. “Everything I wanted my brand to be, the trust and respect I was trying to rebuild with my parents, the sliver of self-worth I’d been able to recover – all that was instantly in ruins.”

Paris Hilton Recalls Taking Quaaludes to Make Sex Tape: ‘I Had to Drink Myself Silly’
Kristina Bumphrey/StarPix/Shutterstock

The Simple Life alum also shut down speculation that she was behind the release of the sex tape. “If this was something I had chosen to do, I would have owned it,” she wrote in the memoir. “I would have stood by it, capitalized on it, licensed the shit out of every frame, and then boogied on over to the bank without apologizing to anyone.”

Paris: The Memoir will be released on Tuesday, March 14.

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