In a new interview, the mother-of-three reveals that she struggled with postpartum depression following the birth of her youngest, Broncs, and even considered taking her own life.
“My postpartum was so bad,” the 22-year-old tells Radar. “I would fill up the bathtub and go under water. I would take anxiety meds and hope not to wake up.”
She was struggling in her marriage to her husband, Josh — and now she says she felt she wasn’t supported by him.
“I was in the bathtub and Josh took the kids. I definitely needed him, but I was pushing him away,” she explains. “He would come home from work and I could be crying and I would threaten suicide. He couldn’t handle it… He said, ‘I don’t love you, you’re crazy.’ I was suicidal. He said, ‘Go kill yourself, but don’t do it in front of me and the kids.’”
This isn’t the first time Mac has confessed to having suicidal thoughts. When she first appeared in the spotlight, she struggled with fame and how it impacted her day-to-day life as a young mom in a small town.
“Through this time, I hid, I would stay off social media, I would stay home, I was scared to go out, and I clung to my boyfriend who is now my husband,” she wrote at the time. “And let’s be honest, at the time he was not the best boyfriend but I felt he was all I had. Then when I was alone, I would lay down, review EVERYTHING someone I knew had to say about me and cry. Yes, I would cry and cry and cry. I would cry to the point where I was shaking and screwing up my blood sugars. I didn’t have dreams anymore, I would pray to God to either help me out of the country or send me home to heaven.”
We’re grateful to hear that Mac — who is focusing on her multiple businesses as well as her growing family — has since gotten the help she needs.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.