Her mom may have passed away, but Mackenzie McKee (née Douthit) is keeping Angie Douthit’s memory alive. On Wednesday, December 18, the Teen Mom OG star honored her late mother as she reflected on the last year. Though she admitted that she’s been struggling, she also revealed what’s helping her cope. As she shared a photo of her family surrounding Angie’s bedside, she revealed the knowledge that her mom is still with her — and that they’ll one day meet again — is what’s inspiring her to keep going.

“So much of this long, dark year I wish I could understand,” Mackenzie, 25, admitted. “As I sit through these blurry, numb days, I can hear her voice in my ear, saying, ‘It’s all going to be OK, sis.’ The best thing I can look forward to in my life is knowing God has given us a choice to ask him into our hearts, and, one day, I will be up in heaven, and all these wounds will be healed, and I will have my momma again. Until then, I will strive to be more like her. To share the love of Christ every chance I get, to see people differently, to forgive and #alwaysbekind.”

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So much of this long dark year I wish I could understand. As I sit through these blurry numb days I can hear her voice in my ear saying “it’s all going to be ok sis” the best thing I can look forward to in my life is knowing God has givin is a choice to ask him into our hearts and one day I will be up in heaven and all these wounds will be healed and I will have my momma again. Until then, I will strive to be more like her. To share the love of Christ every chance I get, to see people differently, to forgive and #alwaysbekind

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The post is one of many the MTV star has written in remembrance of her mom. Days earlier, she opened up on Instagram about how many lives her mom had touched, inviting fans and friends alike to stream the service with the rest of the Douthit family. When she broke her silence following Angie’s death, she did it with another beautiful statement. “Momma @angiedouthit has crossed the finish line. She did not lose the battle, she [won],” she wrote. “She is healed and running in heaven in eternity.”

Mackenzie also posted a tribute to both of her parents a few days before the grandmother’s death. “When Mom got sick, she was very weak, and it was hard for her to raise her hands. So anytime she would worship and have the desire to raise her hands, she would grab Dad’s hand, and he would help her lift her arm up to worship,” she shared. “Dad has watched Mom these last two years share the Gospel with the world. He has watched her love others, forgive others and show others true kindness. This has changed Dad tremendously and he has grown in his relationship with Christ. … Yesterday when we worshipped together, Mom was too weak to move. Dad grabbed her hand and lifted it in the air so she could worship.” She ended her post by reminding her followers to “always be kind,” something we can all remember.

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