What a year. Kelly Clarkson said the past several months have been an “emotional roller coaster” ride for her in a new interview, which appears to have been conducted prior to her filing for divorce from husband Brandon Blackstock.

“[It] has been really hard as a working parent, because I’m still doing all the same jobs,” she said about her life in quarantine to Glamour UK in an article published on Tuesday, June 16. “It’s been exhausting honestly, cooking every meal and cleaning nonstop after toddlers and teenagers! Everybody’s learning from home now and the teaching! So, everything has been crazy.”

Kelly Clarkson Kids
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Kelly, who’s a proud mom of two to kids — River, 6, and Remington, 4 — added she’s a “full-on mom” whose been “holding down so many things right now.” At times, the American Idol alum would have to remind her colleagues that she’s doing “the best” she can. “I already have abandonment issues, so I don’t want to pass those down,” she said.

Kelly’s abandonment issues date back to her relationship with her estranged late father. She noted feeling abandoned is not really something you get rid of.

“It’s always there,” the Kelly Clarkson Show star said. “You get married and you’re like, ‘Oh, I have no one for the dance or to walk me down the aisle. You know what? I’m not going to get married, just going to elope.'”

In 2013, Kelly and Brandon got married. They stayed together for nearly seven years before The Voice judge filed for divorce on June 4 and cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their split.

Although Kelly is moving on solo, the “Already Gone” singer said she’s always been a “confident” person because life has “forced” her to find that in herself. But even after everything that’s happened, the talk show host doesn’t hold any animosity towards anyone.

She especially let go of all the pain her dad caused her. “I thank him as I wouldn’t have been able to be all that I am right now without all of that. So, you just take your cards you’re dealt, and you do the best you can with them,” she said. “There are always things that happen that come up that bum you out, but at the same time, you’ve got to recognize at some point though, that it’s made you who you are. You are thankful and I’m a very strong individual.”