Former Counting On star Jill Duggar may have just revealed heartbreaking new details about her past. She and her disgraced husband, Derick Dillard — who was fired from the hit TLC show in November — relaunched their family website earlier this week and gave fans insight into her personal lives.

In the “Meet Jill” section, Jim Bob and Michelle‘s daughter explained a conversation she had with her mom about eternal life when she was 12 years old — the same age she was when her brother, Josh, molested her and several of her siblings in their Arkansas home. “I confessed all the wrong things I could remember to my mom and God,” Jill wrote. “I asked Him in prayer to take complete control of my life and take me to heaven when I die.” The now 26-year-old continued, “Not too long after that, my dad baptized me at our church.”

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Josh has remained largely out of the spotlight, but recently it was revealed that he hasn’t changed at all despite his many, many years in “treatment.” In a reddit “Ask Me Anything” with someone “verified” as being familiar with the Duggars, a redditor named annalove178 said that Josh doesn’t seem like someone who “seems like he’d be a whole lot of fun to be married to.” When another user asked him/her to elaborate on their interactions with Josh, the user explained, “He just stares at every girl he meets like she is an object for him to do something with. Most of the Duggar boys are very respectful and are good at keeping their eyes up, Josh never has been and I know he was reprimanded a lot for his wandering eye as a kid.”

Even a full year after he completed treatment, there were reports that he was still receiving “regular treatment” for his sex addiction. Throughout his time in the residential rehab facility, his family was met with criticism due to the type of treatment they sought for Josh.

He went to a “faith-based” program and was counseled by a pastor, rather than a licensed professional equipped to handle his complex issues, which included an affair and an alleged addiction to both sex and Internet pornography. He was said to be getting treatment based in the treatments by Bill Gothard — the controversial figurehead whose teachings the Duggars turned to when Josh was a teenager and he confessed to molesting his younger sisters.

Shortly after the scandal was made public, Jill and her sister Jessa admitted to Megyn Kelly that they were two of his victims. “Well, I think in the case of what Josh did, it was very wrong,” Jessa said on The Kelly File in 2015. “I’m not going to justify anything that he did or say it was ok, not permissible, but I do want to speak up in his defense against people who are calling him a child molester or a pedophile or a rapist, some people are saying. I’m like that is so overboard and a lie really, I mean people get mad at me for saying that but I can say this because I was one of the victims. So I can speak out and I can say this and set the record straight here.”

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