Big girls don’t cry…but, apparently, they do crash gala speeches. And pretend they’re other people. And burst out into song. And promote the deluxe version of their new album, sold exclusively at Target. If you couldn’t already guess, we’re obviously talking about pop diva Fergie — who did all of this at the TrevorLIVE Gala in LA this past Sunday.
Moments after Armie Hammer walked on stage to present fashion designer Tom Ford with an award, the “Fergalicious” songstress, 42, interrupted him to say a few words — well, a lot of words actually. And most of them didn’t make any sense.
drunk fergie gate crashing a charity event to plug her album is one of my favourite things to happen in 2017. pic.twitter.com/tKQmIFk5In— ❦ (@fkajack) December 6, 2017
“Hi Fergie,” she said to a visibly confused Armie, 31. “I’m actually Armie Hammer. Thank you. I’m gonna win at the Academy Awards, thanks,” she continued, seemingly referencing the actor’s recent work in the groundbreaking LGBTQ film Call Me by Your Name. Fergie then launched into a very sweet (but also very cringeworthy) oration about Mr. Ford.
“This is unexpected. And in typical Tom Ford style, I think he would love that if he was here,” she said, which was weird because Tom, 56, was, like, totally present. Oh, wait — yes, she remembered. As she started stroking her handbag, she continued, “But, uh, Tom Ford is here. He’s here on this bag. He’s here on this amazing T-shirt, mock-style, long-sleeve shirt, and fabulous skirt and pumps.” (TBH, we have no idea what TF she’s talking about at this point. Her outfit?)
(Photo Credit: Getty Images)
“But he’s also here as a person,” Fergie Ferg added. Phew. OK, so she doesn’t really think Tom’s spirit lives inside a bag or a “T-shirt, mock-style, long-sleeve shirt.” Though she briefly discussed how humiliating it was that she didn’t have any Tom Ford makeup in her purse (which, like honestly, same), the Black Eyed Peas alum made sure to praise the style guru for his “compassion” and his ability to “see people’s feelings.”
The camera then panned to Tom for his reaction. He looked a little concerned, and had taken off his glasses (we’re guessing so he couldn’t see the train wreck happening in front of him). And good thing, because that’s when Fergie literally paralyzed us with secondhand embarrassment. So imagine what would have happened to Tom IRL if he had perfect vision.
“This is not a shameless promotion. I have a lot of shame,” she prefaced, igniting a deep sense of fear in all of us, scared of what she might pull. Thankfully, it was just an impromptu (albeit difficult-to-watch) performance of her latest single “A Little Work” — with alternate lyrics from "the Target version that has these bonus tracks with the alt-verses."
While Fergie’s voice sounded better than ever — seriously, “London Bridge” doesn’t hold a candle to her new s--t — her behavior had fans worried. In response to speculation that Fergie might be suffering a breakdown after announcing her split from husband Josh Duhamel in September, the singer’s rep insisted that’s not the case. “It was a gag that everyone at [her] table came up with that fell flat due to timing,” the rep said in a statement to People on Monday. “She’s happy and healthy.”