Billie Eilish Reveals She Almost Took Her Own Life Amid Success: I ‘Was So Unhappy and Joyless’
It’s not always easy being famous — just ask Billie Eilish. The singer admitted she almost took her own life after being thrust into the spotlight rather quickly, which left her depressed. “I was so unhappy last year,” the 18-year-old told Gayle King during The Gayle King Grammy Special, which aired on Thursday, January 23. “Even the beginning of this year, I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless. There were so many reasons. It was all because I was actually clinically depressed — that was actually the beginning of it. But then on top of it was this fame I didn’t want at the time. It was this inability to go out places. It was so torturous because all I wanted to do was go hang out with my friends.”
In the tune, “Bury a Friend,” the California native sings, “I wanna end me,” and she shared she was talking about herself but the lyrics “also rhymed.” Unfortunately, Billie wasn’t sure if she wanted to be on earth anymore. “I don’t want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17,” she confessed. “Yeah, I think about this one time I was alone in Berlin, and I was alone in my hotel. I remember there was like a window right there, and I like — God, I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was I was going to do it.”
Ultimately, the “Bad Guy” crooner’s parents, Maggie Baird and Patrick O’Connell, made sure to check in on her constantly. So much so, Billie revealed her mom saved her life. Now, Maggie makes sure her daughter isn’t overwhelmed with demands.
The brunette beauty — who used to hide self-inflicted wounds on her arms — currently reaches out to fans to help them try to ease their pain and whatever they are going through. “I grab them by the shoulders, and I am like, ‘Please take care of yourself, and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself. Don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further, then you can’t take it back,’” she advised.
These days, the Grammy nominee seems to be in a good place and credits therapy and her family’s support for helping her. “I’ve been kind of coming out of it for the last six months, actually, which feels like that to me, but it’s like the most freeing feeling to be able to come out of that shell,” she admitted.
It’s not always easy growing up in the limelight, so we applaud Billie for being so open and honest with her fans.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Youth Crisis Hotline at 1-800-448-4663.
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