Our hearts go out to Bella Thorne. The 19-year-old star experienced tragedy at an early age when her dad, Delancey Reinaldo “Rey” Thorne died in a motorcycling accident when the former Disney Chanel star was just nine-years-old.

In fact, the teenage actress was traumatized so much by her father’s passing that she put off getting her license. In 2015, when asked by Seventeen if she had her license, she responded, “No, not yet. I don’t have my permit either. My father died in a motorcycle accident. I’m not mature enough to accept the responsibility of perhaps taking someone else’s life.”

It’s understandable that she would have that fear of driving, but thankfully later that year she was able to conquer her fear and finally become a licensed driver. She later shared with fans how she passed her test and got a license.

Her father’s passing was not only was devastating emotionally, but it also drove her family to poverty. She’s opened up about the fact that she didn’t become a Disney star out of want, but rather out of necessity as a way to support her family.

“I didn’t want to audition for Shake It Up!” she admitted. “I literally said in my audition, ‘I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I’m basically tone deaf, and I’m not funny. So I don’t know why I’m here.’ And everybody just started laughing. They all thought it was a joke.”

Well apparently her “joke” worked because she went on to star in the Disney sitcom for three seasons. “We were about to live physically on the street if I didn’t have that role,” she continued. “We were living off Stouffer’s coupons, and that’s all we had to eat every day. That may not sound like a big deal to everybody, but when you’re a single mom raising four kids with debt and you have nothing to your name, it’s f–king s–tty.”

Now, it seems that the Famous in Love star is able to look back on the experience in a healthy way. She even recently revealed that she wrote a song about her dad’s passing which she called really “dark.”

MORE: Watch Bella Thorne’s Shocking Transformation Right Before Your Eyes

“I just wrote my first song about my dad that I didn’t — I don’t have a melody to or anything. I did just lyrics,” Bella told Sway In The Morning. “It’s literally about the way he died. And I wrote it on the plane — couldn’t sleep — and I was just chilling, and I don’t know why I was feeling really inspired, and then I just wrote one.”

She said she hopes that other people can relate to her experiences and take comfort in the music: “And this song is really just about dying alone. And so, I hope a lot of people when they listen to it — like, I don’t expect that song to be big. I’m gonna sing it raw vocals, on a mic, guitar, just cry it out for anybody who wants to cry with me, then they can.”

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