Just because it’s been over nine months since Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson called off their brief engagement, doesn’t mean that the world-famous singer isn’t still reflecting on the failed relationship. “I met Pete, and it was an amazing distraction, Ariana, 26, told Vogue in an interview published on Tuesday, July 9. “It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn’t know him,” she confessed.

Ariana and Pete, 25, began dating shortly after the “Bad Idea” singer ended her two-year relationship with late rapper Mac Miller. “Hi! This is one of my best friends in the whole world and favorite people on the planet, Malcolm McCormick,” Ariana captioned a breakup Instagram post in May 2018. “I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form — at all times regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us!”

Ariana Grande Wearing a Pink Outfit with Mac Miller in a White Sweatshirt
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Ariana confirmed her relationship with Pete on social media later that month. “I’m like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist,” the Grammy-winner told Vogue. “I still don’t trust myself with the life stuff.”

She may not trust herself just yet, but Ariana has certainly overcome more hardships in the last year than most people face in a lifetime. Four months after splitting from Mac, he died of an overdose at just 26 years old. Unfortunately, because Ariana had moved on with Pete so quickly — at least in the opinion of the public — a lot of Malcolm’s fans began to blame her for his untimely passing.

Pete Davidson, Ariana Grande
Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for MTV

“It’s pretty all-consuming,” Ariana expressed to Vogue of her continued sorrow over Mac. “By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f–k. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had,” she said. “I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming … less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”

Since Mac’s passing and her split from Pete, Ariana has gone on to create one of the most influential and empowering albums of the last decade. Of course, we’re talking about Thank U, Next. “I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me,” Ariana admitted to the publication.

“I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of ‘Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this s–t.’”

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