In Aaron Hernandez‘s 2017 suicide note, he asked his girlfriend and fiancée Shayanna Jenkins to tell his “story fully.” Now, the brunette beauty is opening up about the life and death of the disgraced football star in the two-part special Aaron Hernandez: Uncovered.

Shayanna, who shared five-year-old daughter Avielle with the former Patriots tight end, fights back tears in the Oxygen docu-series as she remembers her longtime boyfriend and how she found out he had one of the worst cases of CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) ever. “There are so many what-ifs,” she told cameras. “You just really never know what demons he could have been facing.”

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In 2015, Aaron was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of his friend Odin Lloyd. He was later found not guilty in the double homicide case against him for the 2012 killings of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado. Just a few days affter the verdict, he was found hanging in his jail cell last April. In his suicide note, he expressed his love for Shayanna and their little girl, writing, “You have always been my soul-mate and I want you to live life and know I’m always with you… Tell my story fully but never think anything besides how much I love you.”

Following his death at the age of 27, his 2015 conviction in Odin’s murder was vacated since it was in the midst of the appeals process. To this day, Shayanna continues fighting on Aaron’s behalf and recently filed a lawsuit against the New England Patriots and the NFL due to the brain damage he sustained playing football. “Aaron had stage 3 CTE usually seen in players with a median age of death of 67 years,” she said in the suit before alleging the Patriots and league “were fully aware of the damage that could be inflicted from repetitive impact injuries and failed to disclose, treat or protect him from the dangers of such damage.”

So, what else do you need to know about Aaron’s ride-or-die fiancée? The 28-year-old changed her last name to Hernandez even though the couple was never married and she was unknowingly an accomplice when she helped Aaron throw away evidence. In 2013, she pleaded not guilty to perjury after it was discovered she lied when she told the grand jury she couldn’t remember where she tossed a box, which she allegedly threw in the trash bag under baby clothes, Aaron asked her to get rid.

She also recently revealed she is still estranged from Aaron’s family. “I don’t talk to them. I think the last time we had an encounter was the funeral,” she told Dr. Phil last year. “We just don’t see eye-to-eye. No one stood by his side but me. That’s where my frustration lies.”

She continued, “I believe I was the only supporter. I believe the family members were there here and there. And I get everyone has their life. I made it my life. Granted, I’m not asking everyone to do that. But I didn’t feel the support and the love that he should have gotten that he gave back.”

The two-part special Aaron Hernandez: Uncovered airs on March 17 and 18 at 7 p.m. EST on Oxygen.

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