She’s being really honest. 90 Day Fiancé star Ashley Martson is going through a divorce with Jay Smith and admitted to her Instagram followers on June 2 that she’s not feeling “strong” as she goes through the ordeal. “How do you manage to stay strong after all that you’ve been through?” a fan asked during a Q&A session. Ashley, 32, responded, “I’m not strong at all. It’s all [an] act for the ‘gram.” She also added a graphic that read “broken” before shattering into pieces on the post. Poor Ashley.

Another follower asked Ashley during the same Q&A sesh, “When will your divorce be final?” The reality TV star replied, “[Two] years because someone won’t sign the paperwork.” Eek. We’re going to go ahead and guess that someone is her 20-year old estranged husband, Jay.

ashley martson instagram
Courtesy of Ashley Martson/Instagram

Ashley also revealed on her Instagram Story that Jay no longer lives with her and that he has his own apartment. Ashey did note on her Instagram Story that she’s “trying” to find happiness, but that might not involve a boyfriend right now. She admitted in mid-May that she still loves Jay, in spite of their messy breakup, and she’s probably going through a lot right now trying to disentangle her feelings from the situation.

Someone else asked if she’s ready for another relationship, and she admitted that she’s not. After two alleged cheating scandals with her 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? partner, we don’t really blame her. Back in April, Ashley teased that fans will get to see what really led her to file for divorce from Jay for a second time on the current season of the hit TLC reality TV series. “It was very dramatic, very messed up,” she exclusively told In Touch. “But I am sure America is going to be shocked.”

If Ashley doesn’t seriously date anyone for a while as she tries to figure out what makes her happy, we say all power to her. All those fish in the sea will still be there tomorrow, Ash!

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