One of the most popular misconceptions about The Bachelor is that the “winner” of the dating show is the one who gets the ~final rose~ and a ring on her finger — but we couldn’t disagree more. The REAL winner is the breakout contestant who usually makes a killer first impression, or in one way or another, just manages to stand out.
Which is why Tara, the 26-year-old “fishing sport enthusiast” (whatever that means…) from Florida, was the true star of the season 19 premiere.
In case you’re having trouble remembering which one was Tara, she was the really tall one who could barely stand up straight because she got so wasted. And if you need any more proof as to why she’s the champion, we went ahead and gathered some proof for you! We present: Six Reasons Why Tara Was the True Star of ‘The Bachelor.’
1. She Kept It Real By Showing Up In Daisy Dukes and Cowboy Boots
To quote the great philosopher Miley Cyrus… She was all, “All I see are stilettos… Guess I never got the memo!”
2. She Kept Doing Shots Because She Was Nervous
Granted, she was also dealing with the fact that the other girls were being totally nasty to her because of her outfit (dare we say they were like, “Who’s that chick who’s rockin’ kicks, she’s gotta be from out of town”?).
3. Luckily She Had Her Besties on Hand
This is a direct quote from Tara, “My best friends are Jameson, Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker.”
So funny, we know them, too! Please, send our regards
4. Homegirl Knew She Was a Mess — And Owned It.
How often do you come across a self-described “trainwreck”? Did we mention she was one of the first girls there? That means she was drinking for, like, eight hours straight.
5. She Didn’t Puke During the Rose Ceremony
And, trust us, it was pretty close there for a second… You go girl!
6. After All That, She Still Got the Rose!
This might be a first for ‘The Bachelor’ — we mean seriously, when have you ever seen the token drunk girl stick around? That’s right, never. Let’s just hope she can keep us entertained for an entire season…
While there’s no doubt in our minds that Tara was the breakout star of the season, there were a few ladies that at least deserve an honorable mention:
Kaitlyn (aka The One With the Potty Mouth).
Not only was she telling absolutely filthy jokes, but she’s the same girl whose opening line to “Farmer” Chris Soules was, “You can plow the f--k out of my field any day.” We can see their wedding now… It’ll be like, “You had me at hello” except totally raunchy and full of agriculture innuendo!
Ashley S. (aka Crazy Eyes/The Onion Enthusiast)
Hey, anyone who gets her dating philosophy from ‘Shrek’ is a keeper in our book — although we can do without her violating a pomegranate. Did we mention she’s the same chick who gave another contestant a “yellow rose” to get Chris all to herself?
Brittany (aka The Naked WWE Diva-in-Training)
Girl showed up wearing lingerie that she managed to convince herself was a dress! And somehow Tara was the one who got slammed for her sartorial choice…. SMH!