At tonight's ESPYS, host Joel McHale held nothing back in his opening monologue — and delivered some hilarious zingers about everyone from Justin Bieber to Bill Cosby! Check out 10 of his best jokes below.
"Victor Espinoza everybody! He made history by being the first Latino jockey to win the Triple Crown. And he'll make history again when he's the first person President Donald Trump deports to Mexico."
"You guys look great, you're all dressed up in your nice suits that you usually wear to your depositions."
"I hope you don't look back on this evening and think, 'Man, I've wasted three hours of my life with this boring nonsense.' Ya know, like the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight."
"Tonight, the world's greatest athletes — and the Philadelphia 76ers — have gathered with Hollywood's finest actors. And Ken Jeong."
"Golf's Jordan Spieth is having a big year; he's in Scotland hoping to win his third major championship. Many are calling Jordan Spieth the new Tiger Woods, which is great news for golf and terrible news for the future Mrs. Jordan Spieth" [Cuts to Lindsey Vonn in the audience].
Joel and Lindsey Vonn (inset) onstage at the ESPYS on July 15. (Photo Credit: Getty Images)
"The Chicago Blackhawks once again won the Stanley Cup. Yes, it's been 22 years since a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup. It's also been 22 years since Canada's own Justin Bieber was conceived. It's not a coincidence Canada, it's not. You know what you have to do."
"A lot of big NFL names are here tonight. Is a man desperately trying to sell you unflattering dad jeans? Then congratulations, you've scored a seat next to legendary quarterback Brett Favre!"
"Team USA took home the first Women's World Cup… since we started caring about it 11 days ago. Thank you, ladies."
"Not one, but two NFL players blew their fingers off in firework accidents this summer. You know who's not dumb enough to hold a lit firecracker? All women."
"UFC Champion Ronda Rousey, who is here tonight, may be the most dominant athlete in all of sports. Ronda's knocked out more women than Bill Cosby. You know what, I misspoke, I meant Dr. Bill Cosby."