Channel Five UK
We have some good news and some bad news about baby blinging.
The bad news is that there are people in this world who watch Toddlers & Tiaras and think, “Wow, that’s so modest. If only we could dress young girls promiscuously all the time!” The good news is that they live far, far away in the U.K.
‘Merica — where we only put makeup on toddlers if there are prizes involved! Eff yeah!
A new documentary—cleverly titled Blinging Up Baby—aired in the U.K. and introduced the world to Leigh-Ann Dix, who thought it would be a good idea to dress her 4-year-old daughter Scarlet in the scantily-clad Hooters uniform and choreographed a floor-humping heavy dance routine that would make even Miley Cyrus blush!
The saddest moment of the doc probably came when she confessed, “[Scarlet] probably would be a tomboy if I let her. But I won’t.”
Seriously, who do we have to talk to about getting this kid a ticket to the states. Land of the free and home of the brave! Free to be a tomboy if you want!
The doc also introduced the world to Sophie-May Dixon, mother to Princess Bliss Tiana May and Precious Belle Ruby Rosina.
Princess, 4, who 'enjoyed' her first pedicure aged 9 months and has her own set of hair extensions, goes for regular spray tans along with her mom, and apparently: "Getting her nails done is just like going to the park for her."
But with fewer swings, ice creams and friends. And lots more fumes.
And come on, do you know how many people have looked at a toddler and thought, “She could really use a healthy glow.”
Oh wait. No sane person has said that in the history of ever.